Guys and life in general.

Okay, I know I said I WASN'T going to go near guys, but you see, there's this one guy and I really miss him. I barely know him, and I don't think he knows that I exist, but I miss him. He's always happy you see, I think that's why I like him so much. And him being happy makes me happy as well, which is always a good thing on one of my bad days.
It pisses me off that he has a girlfriend, though I find it funny that he's dating his best freind's ex. I'm so jealous of her, I would kill to be in her place for just one day. She's so lucky. I don't want to split them up, they're so happy together. Doesn't stop me being jealous though.
I wonder if I'll ever stand a chance with him. Probably not. We're whole worlds apart. But he's so cute, I can't help but wish...maybe one day it'll happen. Maybe one day.
I should really stop dreaming, right? Go on the prowl, as Leonie likes to say. The thing is, I'm not that kind of girl, I can't handle meaningless flings, I need it to be long term. Neither do I want to be his rebound girl ifthey break up. I want it to be as important to him as it is to me.
I know its not likely, but I'm gonna keep on dreaming and hope it happens someday.
On a different note, the home front is all bad. My and my parents are fighting more and more, and more often than not I've been crying myself to sleep. I really can't stand it anymore, I need to get out of this hell hole. I'm dying inside. I just can't do any of this anymore, I'm convinced they don't want me
I don't really have a reason to hang around, apart from the fact that I'd have nowhere to go if I left. Sometimes I wonder if they'd actually notice...
Anyway, thats enough for now, so bye!